Someone sent me to the Quilt and Notions store in Akwesasne Territory New York State. I was feeling like a jackass, standing there all White and weird with my Living The Dream baseball hat and big sunburned nose. I told the lady that I was looking for a partridge feather. I as soon as the words left my mouth I realized she probably thought I was a one of those White people trying to be “Native.”

She showed me her feathers. The ones on the shelf were dyed hideous bright colours, like periwinkle blue and red, and reminded me of the ones I loved at Lewis Craft when I was a kid. Then there were some “natural” looking feathers behind the desk. The woman said that she didn’t have any partridge feathers, but that she could sell me an Eagle feather. She pulled one out with ceremony. Well now I felt like an even bigger jackass because even I – dumb-ass Settler that I am – know that it is a) illegal to buy an eagle feather, and b) probably the biggest act of appropriation that I could commit to use one in my art.

At this point however I felt obliged to go through with some kind of mercantile transaction, so I chose a Turkey feather. I chose it because I wanted something to signify what a full-fledged Turkey I have felt like during this project. Like making cold calls to the Aborigianal Rights and Research Office before coming out to Cornwall: “Hi, My name is Elinor Whidden. I’m 7^th generation descendant of an Indian Agent from the Nutfield tract. I’m wondering if I could speak to someone about present day land claims in research for the Akwesasne.“

That, or like thinking I could use a partridge feather in my project.